


False Modesty is a Guilty Habit

by e7r0chw3n



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure! Shane, Insecurity, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Shane Madej and Ryan Bergara are blessings, The Hot Daga
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-26 18:57:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18184490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/e7r0chw3n/pseuds/e7r0chw3n
Summary: Ryan really does hate the Hot Daga. But he really does love Shane.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! Was bored, wrote this. Unbetaed and such, so feel free to correct my grammar (but not too harshly, please). As a note, I adore the Hot Daga. But as much as I wanted to write a thousand something word ode to its beauty, I also think Ryan needs a shoutout for not murdering Shane during it.
> 
> Disclaimer: I mean no offense to the people portrayed in this fic- I’m simply writing using characters based on their personalities as displayed in the show, so this is no way reflects their actual lives, etc., etc.
> 
> Oh, and I don’t own Buzzfeed or BFU. Nor am I profiting from this work.
> 
> Anyhow, enjoy!
> 
> Title from “Don’t Be Nice” by Watsky.

_It’s been a long day,_ Shane thought to himself, staring absently at his quickly-cooling mug of coffee on the break room table.

He was startled-well, Shane’s version of startled, at least- out of his reverie by a hand clapping his shoulder.

 

”Dude, why are you staring at your coffee like that? Look at me for a second, is that your existential crisis face?” Ryan asked, removing his hand from Shane’s shoulder to scrutinize his face.

”No,” Shane mumbled. “This is my I’m-tired-of-being-awake face. Can I go home yet?”

 

Ryan’s brow furrowed. “It’s 9:30. We got here half an hour ago.”

“Damn,” Shane said with a sigh. Ryan’s brow crinkled again, and he had just begun to speak when a harrowed looking intern burst into the break room.

 

”I’m so sorry to bother you, I know I should know how to do this already but I can’t figure out this software and the others are all busy and I don’t know what else to do and-“

 

Shane stepped forward, arms extended in a calming gesture like he was soothing a spooked animal. “Hey, I’ll help you out! No worries, man.”

 

The relief on the intern’s face would have been comical had Shane been awake enough to notice.

~

Shane lifted his head off of his desk reluctantly as he heard something thud gently beside his head.

 

”God bless you,” he said, unsure who he was addressing as he chugged the Starbucks he’d been gifted.

 

”No problem, big guy,” Ryan said. “Least I could do to help out our Lord and Savior of the interns.”

Shane groaned. “I don’t have the brainpower to translate your cryptic remarks right now, Ry.”

Ryan laughed. “C’mon, you know you saved that poor kid’s life earlier, even though you appear to be half dead yourself today.”

Shane grunted. “S’nothing.”

“Not to that kid it wasn’t,” Ryan retorted. 

“It’s whatever,” Shane shrugged.

”It’s really not,” Ryan persisted, but Shane cut him off with a groan.

”Too. Tired,” he drawled.

”Sheesh,” Ryan laughed. “Why are you so tired, anyways?”

Shane shrugged again. “Workin’ on a lil’ something for the next post-mortem.” he explained.

Now it was Ryan’s turn to groan- at least, that is, until he noticed Shane was back to staring blankly into the distance.

”You okay?” Ryan asked him.

Shane shrugged again. “I dunno. I’ll thinking about wrapping it up, I guess. That’s why last night took me so long- getting everything organized.” He shrugged again.

Ryan studied him for a moment, then huffed out a breath. Shane looked at him curiously.

”Just know I hate myself for this,” Ryan warned. “But why would you do that?”

Shane raised an eyebrow. “Because it was fun to annoy you for a while, but now it just... I dunno,” he trailed off.

Ryan looked at him quizzically, even tilting his head slightly. “Dammit,” Shane muttered. Ryan started to speak, but Shane interrupted him.

”Fine, stop doing the puppy thing-“ At this, Ryan looked extremely confused and mildly offended- “I’ll tell you,” Shane continued.

”It’s not a big deal, I just feel like... gah, it’s stupid. I don’t really care, but just... all the hate or whatever... I just think it’s not worth it.”

Ryan frowned. “All the hate? You know most of those are joking, right? Or at least- it’s got nothing to do with you.”

Shane muttered under his breath. “What?” Ryan prompted. “Nothing,” Shane said, just a touch too loud for normalcy.

Ryan narrowed his eyes. “Shane. You know it’s not hate for you personally, right? Shane?”

Shane hummed noncommittally. “Isn’t it?” he said, after a pause. Ryan felt his stomach twist. “No... Shane, no-“

Shane abruptly stood up from his desk. “Well, would you look at the time, I have to go NOT have this conversation, b-“ he said, before being yanked back to his desk by a hand around his wrist. 

“Shane.” Ryan said, suddenly serious. “Ryan.” he retorted. Ryan bit his lower lip worriedly. “It’s not- I mean, I do hate it, seriously, but-“

”Oh, thanks, wonderful,” Shane interjected.

”Shut up! Anyways, I do hate it, but-“

”Ryan,” Shane said, serious, hushed. “Not here. Please.”

Ryan considered him for a minute, then slowly nodded. “Okay. Fair. Wanna come over tonight then? Or just catch a ride with me back to my place ride after work?”

”Alright,” Shane agreed, unusually subdued. Ryan rolled back over to his desk, but Shane could feel eyes on him still every few minutes. 


	2. Drop All the Fuckery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title again from Don’t Be Nice by Watsky. If you have any prompts/requests for this ship or any others, let me know- I’ll do my best to write what you’re looking for!

“Hey,” Ryan greeted Shane with an awkward wave, standing in front of his desk with his bag slung over his shoulder. “Ready to go?”

Shane grabbed his own bag from under his feet, logging off of his computer before rising to his feet as well. “Sure.”

They walked out to Ryan’s car in stilted silence, broken only once in the parking lot when Ryan began with a “So-“ which was quickly cut off by Shane. “Not yet.”

They resumed their awkward silence in the car, Ryan staring over at Shane for a few moments after buckling up before apparently realizing now wasn’t the right time, either.

Thankfully, traffic wasn’t too horrid, so they made it to Ryan’s apartment before the unusual silence cracked Ryan’s sanity. 

“My roommates texted me saying they were out for dinner and probably wouldn’t be back til late, so I guess it’s just you and me tonight,” Ryan told Shane.

”Cool,” he replied, still not meeting Ryan’s eyes. Ryan groaned internally and quickened his pace to the door, hastily unlocking it and gesturing Shane inside.

”You pick a movie, I’ll get the popcorn?” Ryan offered. Shane nodded, heading off to make his decision. Ryan, meanwhile, padded over to the kitchen, kicking his shoes off along the way.

As he got the popcorn ready- for two such popcorn aficionados as themselves, it was a somewhat lengthy process- Ryan considered Shane.

Well, to be fair, he did that most of the time. This time, he specifically considered Shane’s odd behavior- his exhaustion, his pissiness, and the awful silence that had filled the car on the way here.

Was Shane really hurt by the hate for the Hot Daga- by Ryan’s hatred for it? He always seemed so immune to normal people’s flaws- fear, insecurity- but Ryan knew that some of it, at least, was a facade.

And did he really not think he was helpful- that he hadn’t saved that intern’s day?

The microwave beeped, jolting Ryan from his thoughts and startling him into a jump. Ryan scowled at it, but his embarrassment was quickly replaced by overwhelming relief when he heard a laugh ring out from the living room.

”I saw that, Bergara,” Shane called. Ryan turned away to hide his smile. “You didn’t see shit!” Shane wheezed, and Ryan breathed for what felt like the first time all day. 

In a few minutes, Ryan was carrying a bowl of popcorn, back to the living room where Shane had closed the blinds on the afternoon sun and was seated on the couch, the menu for Deadpool 2 up on the TV screen before him.

Ryan sat down next to him, grabbing the remote from the middle cushion of the couch and placing it behind him, out of Shane’s reach. 

“Can we talk now? Please? It doesn’t have to be long, just... what’s up?”

Shane sighed, shaking his head. “Not much for patience, are ya Bergara?”

Ryan began to apologize, but Shane cut him off. “Basically, I feel like people are tired of hearing my weird ass stories and crappy singing every post-mortem. I mean, even you couldn’t pretend to like it,” Shane said in a monotone voice, devotedly looking a few inches left of Ryan’s face.

Ryan paused, then collapsed against the back of the couch. “I have to say, again, I despise myself for this,” he muttered. Shane looked over at him, confused.

”I... I don’t like it. I hate it,” Ryan began, cringing at the way Shane’s face fell.

”I hate it because it has no right,” Ryan continued. “To be so good. I mean, yes, it’s stupid. But it’s also irritatingly entertaining. And in some twisted, random, Shane-esque way-“

”What kinda way?” Shane interrupted.

”Shut up, let me finish, okay, in a Shane-esque way, it makes sense-more sense than any story involving an evil twin hotdog witch sister has any right to,” Ryan said.

”And the songs? Those are the worst part. Because they’re fucking good, okay? Like, I want to listen to them sometimes. If I didn’t know you’d somehow find out and tease me mercilessly for it, I would,” he pressed on.

”And besides, even if it was utter crap, which it would be if anyone but you did it, it wouldn’t matter. The fans, they love you, no matter how much they hate the Hot Daga and all its COMPLETELY illogical appeals.”

Shane snorted. “Okay, dude-“

”I’m not done,” Ryan said. “Another thing- I don’t know why it’s bothering me so much, but you helping that intern today- you’re a good fucking person, alright? Just... know that,” he finished, slightly flushed and conpletely terrified that his rant had given away too much.

They sat in silence for a moment. “Thanks,” said Shane into the pause. “I feel like I should say that. Just- I didn’t know that’s how you felt.” It was quiet again. “That was a lot of emotions.” He looked over at Ryan, voice sounding like he was trying to joke but still hurting. “Surprised you didn’t follow it up with a ‘no homo’.”

Ryan turned bright red, praying Shane wasn’t looking at him.

”But seriously,” Shane continued. “Thank you, and- why is your face so...” he trailed off, staring at Ryan, who flushed even brighter.

They were quiet again, but the air still seemed to be buzzing.

”Ryan?” Shane asked, quiet. Ryan was frozen, looking anywhere but at Shane.

”Ryan, you’ve... you’ve been doing all the talking, I feel like I should talk now, but I’m not really sure how to do this, so... just, if this is completely out of left field, just, like, shove me off, I dunno-“ Shane said, frantic, before leaning slowly towards Ryan.

Ryan, who was still frozen bright red with mortification, sitting stiff on the couch and barely hearing Shane’s words.

Robotically, he turned his head towards Shane as long fingers cupped his cheek gently.  _What._ he thought, watching as if in a dream as Shane’s face came closer and closed, flecks of gold bright in his brown eyes, hair haphazardly framing his face-

And soft lips, touching Ryan’s. Shane’s lips, on Ryan’s, and- holy shit, this was a kiss, Shane was kissing Ryan-

And then he wasn’t, pulling back and repeating, “I’m sorry, I’ll go, I’m sorry” to Ryan’s shocked face before moving to get up. Finally, Ryan’s brain woke up, and he grabbed frantically at Shane, grasping his hand and yanking him back down to the couch with one hand, tangling their fingers together as his other hand tangled in that fucking adorable mess of soft, fluffy hair, and-

This was a kiss, a real one, their mouths moving against each other softly first, then with more confidence, Shane resting a tentative arm around Ryan’s waist and Ryan squeezing their joined hands in reassurance, gently winding his fingers around the strands of Shane’s hair.

They broke apart, mere inches, barely controlling their almost manic grins. A laugh bubbled up in Ryan’s chest and escaped as a strangled wheeze, sheer relief and joy and love that Shane soon echoed until they were in a giggling fit which somehow ended with them laid across the couch, Shane behind Ryan, nuzzling into the curve of his neck.

Ryan turned his head, prompting Shane to press their intertwined legs even closer together.

”Hey big guy, can I clarify something?” Ryan asked sleepily. Shane felt something warm rise in his chest at the soft way Ryan said “big guy”. “Yeah, babe, what is it?” he answered, loving the way Ryan’s grin widened.

”Yes homo,” Ryan whispered into his ear, before collapsing into giggles again, filling Shane with the vibrations of his laughter. Here, Ryan tucked against him, Shane felt whole. 


End file.
